Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Outcome

So. Now you know about the event that changed my life.

But you don't know HOW it changed me.

So I'll tell you:

That was the most important thing Orlando could have ever done for me. He did it even though I had tried to KILL him MORE THAN ONCE.

He SAVED me. He was willing to put himself in danger to save ME!!!

I don't think many people would have saved the most evil brother in the world from that lion.

But most importantly,

Orlando showed me that I need to love my family. I would have to have had no heart at all to ignore the act of PURE HEROICS that he displayed that day in the Forest of Nedra.

THAT is why I wrote this blog; because I know that Orlando was SUCH a good person that he saved his evil brother, even after I did all that stuff to him.

I send my wealth, happiness, and most importantly, my brotherly love to Orlando.

I hope this blog shows how sorry I am.

Heed my warning, people who are like I once was: A lot of people would consider not saving you from that lion.

Back to the story, though.

Now, Orlando and I are tight. We love each other.

All because that lion waited to attack me until my amazing brother showed up.

I know. You're thinking, "WHAT WAS THAT?!?!"

Yeah. That was a very fast, funny, and COMPLETELY incomprehensible reenactment.

Don't worry. I've provided you with a summary.


1. I have just spent days trekking through the Forest of Nedra and haven't had any food or water for a LONG time.

2. I come to a clearing and rest for a couple hours.

3. A cave lion spies me laying there and stalks me, waiting to see if I'm alive (because they don't hunt dead things).

4. I stir, and the lion pounces.

5. During all this, Orlando just happens to be walking by (although, I'm SO grateful that he was there).

6. He tackles the lion and wrestles it to the ground, thus saving my life.

If Oprah was here, she would be calling this my "AHA moment." I'd have to agree.

The Moment that Changed My Life

My travels in the Forest of Nedra proved to be challenging. The plane I took dropped me off at the edge of the seemingly endless patch of trees. And I was expected to find Orlando or face banishment.

So I started walking.

Pretty soon, I was out of food and water. I had been walking for days, and I couldn't carry on much longer. I settled down in a patch of grass in the middle of a clearing, and got a few hours of sleep.

Little did I know that cave lions actually existed.

I was stalked by one in the clearing. It was waiting to see if I was alive (because they don't hunt dead things). I woke up, and...

well, just watch this reenactment to figure out what happened next:

The Confrontation

The day was...

Oh I don't know.


Duke Frederick had apparently "lost" his daughter and his niece, and because some random guy had told him that another lady had said that she had overheard Rosalind and her BFF and cousin, Celia, talking about ORLANDO,

they called me in to find him.

Apparently, they assumed Orlando would be wherever Rosalind and Celia were.

Duke Frederick forced me to go get Orlando. He took away my land and money, everything, so that I would be motivated to go get my little brother.

He also said that if I didn't bring him dead or alive by his deadline (one year from that day) he would...


DUH,             DUH,               DDDUUUUUHHHHHHHH.

I was too blind to see what I had become, and I went to find Orlando in the Forest of Nedra.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

What I DIDN'T Know About Orlando

Being a wealthy, well-connected man, I usually had no trouble getting any information I needed. But this was different.
I saw no reason to keep tabs on Orlando. I didn’t feel like talking to him… I mean, I had made him my nemesis.  I didn’t know what was going on with him at all….
And, of course, what I didn’t know about Orlando would prove to be the thing that got me into trouble.

 He had fallen in love,
With a girl named Rosalind,
After the wrestling match.

That, and the fact that my blabber-mouthed servant, Adam, had told Orlando about my plot to burn the stables he slept in, gave him reason to leave Usurpotopia. He hopped on a plane and went searching for sanctuary in the Forest of Nedra.

And he longed for the day when he would see his Rosalind again.

The Match

Orlando and Charles faced off the next day, and they had a little chat before they began…

“So, where is the man who would like nothing more than to die?”
“I am the man that you speak of.”
“I’ll make this round so good that there won’t have to be a second one.”
“You should have mocked me after the match, not before. I’ll show you.”

And it came to be that they wrestled, and the outcome proved to be one of GREAT surprise to me…

Orlando won the match.

My Plan for Revenge

I wanted revenge, and I was going to go to any lengths to get rid of Orlando…

When Charles came with the news, I immediately started making up things about Orlando; how cruel he was, the way he treated people, and how vicious he was. I spun a tale of how Orlando would do ANYTHING to get Charles if Charles failed in killing him during the match.
And that is why Orlando was in so much danger, more than anyone else knew until now, when he began to wrestle Charles.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Chapter Two: Yes, Rosalind, I Became Worse

That argument with Orlando left me FURIOUS. Naturally, I plotted my revenge against him for rebelling. And what a cruel revenge I had in mind...

"Hello? Dennis!"
"I think Charles wanted to see me... Could you call him for me?"
"Right away."

"Hello Oliver."

"What's up, Charles? Did you have news?"

"Yes, I do. Your younger brother plans to wrestle me tomorrow. I must fight for my honor, but I do not wish to harm him. I wanted to let you know so that you could try to persuade him not to wrestle."

"I'm sorry to tell you, Charles, that I have already heard of this plot and tried to get Orlando to agree not ot wrestle. But he is very stubborn and naive, and I failed in my attempt. He is a very evil young man, and he would love nothing more than to KILL you in tomorrow's match. If you value your life, you will end his before he gets the chance to end yours tomorrow. I wish you luck."

"Thank you for informing me of this! I leave with my thanks, Oliver."

Sunday, May 15, 2011

What I was: The Cast Away or The Sculptor of My Own Fate

My father died, and I inherited everything. My first brother, Jacques, was off at college, and my old man's last act was to give me the responsibility of caring for my youngest brother, Orlando. And there lied the problem.

I shall begin my story with the day that Orlando first complained to me about his horrible situation.
"Orlando, why are you here?"
"I’m not doing anything, because I was never taught to do anything."
"What’s bothering you, then?"
"Actually, I’m bothered by you, the most unworthy brother EVER, who is set on destroying me!"
          "Well, maybe you should get a job, soon I might add, instead of sitting around all day!"

          "Yeah, but I would still be living with your HOGS and eating the same food as them! What have I ever done to deserve this?!"

          "Hey, look bro; do you know where you are?"
          "Uh, YEAH. In your orchard."

          "And do you know who you’re standing before?"
          "I know him better than he knows me! You’re my eldest brother, and you only know me as lesser than you. But just because you are the first-born doesn’t make you better than I am! Even if there were TWENTY brothers in between us, you still wouldn’t be entitled to treat me this way!"

I was a rich man at the time, being the eldest, who had inherited most of my father's wealth. Orlando was only left a small amount of money in the will, though, and I didn't even feel like giving him that. He slept in the stables, and once accused me of treating my horses better than him (and that, by the way, was the truth). I didn't treat him right, littlest sibling or not.

My reasoning for hating Orlando:

None, really, whatsoever.

As I look back on this now, I think I felt that he was showing me up. I was probably jealous of his good nature and his wit (of which these things just seemed to appear naturally, despite having no education, in manners or academics). I despised the fact that everyone loved him, thus casting me off to stand in a dark shadow while everyone praised him. Of course, now I know that it was no fault of his. Only I can sculpt the statue of my personality, and if I choose to be mean to others, then that is how I will come to be the cast away.


I should have listened to Orlando after we had that conversation. But I saw no reason to become a good person. I wanted to get rid of my now rebellious younger brother...

My Mission

Even though I am somewhat ashamed to acquaint the world with the horrible man I once was, I feel I am obligated to show people how someone as evil as I was can change. I hope to impact the lives of other troubled, naive individuals out there with this blog.

And so, my story begins...